


That's Quite the Boner

by shutupkitkat



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Capes, Cutesy, Fluff, I'm sorry for this, M/M, Not of The Office fyi, Office AU, Please don't, Ridiculous Shenanigans, Tim and Jason just both work at a company, a thing u shld PROBABLY not do in real life, but not, in which case you're welcome, unless you end up together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-09-30 20:26:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10171190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shutupkitkat/pseuds/shutupkitkat
Summary: The combination of alcohol and Roy has never led to the best ideas. Jason isn't sure why this time should be any different.





	

Jason shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

“Mr. Todd,” Tim begins.

“Jason,” Jason offers.

Tim smiles faintly. Probably laughing inside at exactly how horrifying this whole situation is for Jason. “Jason,” he says. “do you know why I've called you in here?” He gets up and turns around, fiddling with something at the mini-bar behind him.

Jason winces. Of course he knows. Unless he's done something _else_ both embarrassing and completely inappropriate, this meeting probably has something to do with a little photo that made its way to someone it definitely should not have.

Well. Nothing was _little_ about the photo, Jason is proud to say.

Thing is, Jason’s worked under Tim Drake for almost a year now. (But maybe not in the way he’d _like_ ...ahem.) He’s thought Tim was stupid attractive since the moment he laid eyes on him. Jason’s come to find that he’s smart, too, and has a dry sense of humor that Jason finds absolutely hilarious. In short, Tim is perfect. Tim has also shown no indication of thinking of Jason in _that_ way, at all. _And_ Tim is his _boss_.

Jason thinks his inability to choose someone more appropriate to crush on is probably why he can’t have nice things.

“Because,” Jason says, then pauses. How does he even word this? He decides it probably doesn't matter; it's not like he could make this any worse. “Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.”

To say it was an accident is at _least_ half a lie. He’d been drunk out of his mind and egged on by the evil asshole he calls his best friend, but it hadn’t been an _accident_. This morning, he awoke to a message from Tim asking Jason to come see him in his office. Then he’d scrolled up and there _it_ had been, in all its glory. And _then_ all the memories had come back: Jason babbling on drunkenly, something something Tim’s eyes, something something his adorable laugh, _fucking hell Roy, he’s so awesome._ Roy, rolling his eyes and going _when are you gonna stop mooning over him and_ do _something about it?_

_Like what?_

_Like...I dare you to…_

And the rest is history. Jason has made a mental note to shoot himself before he ever listens to Roy’s advice on dealing with a crush on his illegally hot boss, ever again. Or maybe shoot Roy. That would solve, like, half the problems in his life.

Tim stills. Then, slowly, he turns to face Jason. He's holding two wine glasses.

Both are full.

“Accidentally?” Tim repeats.

Jason stares at the wine glasses with an inkling that he might maybe, possibly, have horribly misread the situation. “Um,” he says eloquently.

“Who, uh...can I ask who it was meant for?” Tim asks. His face is quickly turning a brilliant shade of crimson.

“I was sending it to myself,” Jason blurts out, then immediately wonders what the fuck he’s even saying. Sending it to _himself_? Who _does_ that? Couldn’t he have said it was meant for a one-night stand or something?! Jason fucking Todd, ladies and gentlemen.

“Your...self?” Tim asks, clearly thinking Jason is a little bit off-balance. Jason can’t really blame him.

“For. Future reference?” Jason says weakly, because what else can he say? Except Jesus fucking Christ, now Tim’s going to think he’s a fucking narcissist who jerks off to pictures of his _own_ dick.

“I see. Well, uh, you’re free to go!” Tim replies quickly.

“I, um. You’re--were you--”

“No, no! Clearly, I, uh. Misunderstood,” Tim says, giving him what is probably meant to be a reassuring smile, but is really more a painful grimace.

Jason’s brain finally processes everything that’s just happened. Tim is still holding the wine glasses, looking all the world like he wants the floor to open up and swallow him right now. Wine glasses. He’d seen Jason’s dick and called him in for. Wine?

“Actually,” Jason says slowly, “maybe it wasn’t.” Tim blinks at him. “An accident,” Jason clarifies.

Tim seems to think about this for a moment, before scowling. “Jason, there’s no need to--I’m not that kind of person. We can just forget this happened, there won’t be any trouble--”

“No!” Jason says. “That’s not why--”

“You just _said_ you meant to send it to yourself,” Tim says with a touch of irritation.

Jason coughs. “I...might have made that up? I mean, I’d have to be some kind of weirdo to do that, right?” Tim raises an eyebrow, so Jason carries on hurriedly. “No, uh, I was… well. Kind of drunk,” (an understatement) “and my friend dared me to do it, and…well, it was definitely meant for you, is what I’m trying to say.”

“Hmm,” Tim says. “Why would he dare you to send it to me?”

Jason takes a deep breath and throws caution to the wind. “He might have been sick of me going on and on about how hot my boss is.”

“Oh,” Tim says faintly, before snorting.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Tim says, grinning, “just, um, sounds like something my friend Steph said. Except it was me going on about how hot I thought _you_ were.”

They stare at each other for a second, before both of them dissolve into eye-watering, stomach-clutching laughter. Every time it seems as though they might be winding down, they make eye contact and start up again.

“I gotta say, this is definitely not how I imagined this going,” Tim says, wiping away tears.

“You’re not the only one,” Jason admits.

“How about we start over?” asks Tim, grinning. He sits down again, holding out one of the wine glasses to Jason.

Jason takes the glass and drinks, barely registering the taste. He’s too busy rooting around for any vestiges of suaveness he might still have. “So, I guess you liked what you saw?” he asks finally.

Tim flushes. “Shut up.”

“Hey, you invited me for a _drink_ in your _office_ ," Jason says, smirking. Tim groans.

“Clearly, my mistake,” he mutters, before narrowing his eyes at Jason. “Why are _you_ ragging on _me?_ You sent me a picture of your _dick!"_

“And you liked it!” Jason crows.

“I’m beginning to rethink my choices,” Tim says, rolling his eyes.

“Aww, don’t be like that--Tim,” says Jason, faltering on the name, because it’s not like he’s called him that before. But, well, Tim’s seen his dick, so that should mean they’re on a first name basis, right? Speaking of which--”When are you gonna return the favor?”

“What?”

“I mean...you’ve seen mine, and…” Jason trails off suggestively.

Tim takes a sip of wine, and gives Jason a bright smile. “Buy me dinner first and we’ll see.”

“Dinner,” Jason repeats. His smirk softens into a smile, one of those big, silly ones that you can’t wipe off your face.

“Yeah, dinner,” Tim says. His eyes are dancing with amusement. He seems fully aware of the effect he’s having on Jason. “Say… Friday at 8?”

“It’s a date.” A date. With Tim. Jason wants to punch the air and do some sort of ridiculous victory dance, but he’s kind of embarrassed himself in front of Tim enough for today.

Then again, Tim is apparently into that.

“Okay,” Tim says, and now he too is smiling like a moron. A ridiculously cute moron. A ridiculously cute moron who’s going on a _date_ with Jason. “I’ll see you then.”

Jason leaves the office, still grinning like a dopey idiot.

He’s going to get Roy a goddamn gift basket.

**Author's Note:**

> so i got inspired by this post on tumblr: http://reinventlou.tumblr.com/post/158034291877/someone-turn-this-into-a-fic-ill-pay-you-with-my. i saw it on my dash and was like holy shit, jaytim. so now you have this mess. 
> 
> i also sent the post to my eternal jaytim buddy+babe, annubkb, who you can find here: http://archiveofourown.org/users/annubkb/pseuds/annubkb. and we were like wait, let's write TWO versions for TWICE the fun. so here is hers, it's fantastic, go read it! http://archiveofourown.org/works/10174172
> 
> disclaimer: in real life you should probably not send a dick pic to your boss. even if it turns out they're into you. maybe just don't send unsolicited dick pics in general. that's a good policy.
> 
> also, the title is from THIS: http://bobcatmoran.tumblr.com/post/90990181372/boners. gotta love the 50s.


End file.
